Monday, July 8, 2013

Somethin's a-brewin'

I haven't had time to blog in the past few days, as I've been away celebrating the 4th and our great nation in the woods with lovely friends...and beer...and card games...and mosquito bites...


Now I'm back. And don't worry, everyone. New York still smells like pee. It's ok. You don't have to fret about that.

I will find time to make a post in the next day or two. Here are the current situations I'm ruminating on:

1. We went to a really scary country diner that was surrounded by HUNDREDS of teddy bears that stare at you while you eat. There was a waitress with a neon pink shirt who came over to pet the dog we had with us. She old us she had recently put her dog down. She cried. I was uncomfortable. But also felt bad for her. Because losing your dog is actually terrible and really sad.

2. We went to a gorge. There was a man there named Richard who kept cliff jumping and screaming "brooooooooo!" as he jumped. He and his friends were playing Nirvana, Lit, Sublime, Third Eye Blind, Matchbox 20. Richard was a special creature.

3. I was sent on an expedition to a small grocery store in the middle of nowhere in upstate New York. It was called Gregg's. I was supposed to get vegan hot dogs. At a place with a sign out front that said "all beef 50% off". I asked the lady at the deli for vegan hot dogs...vegan anything. She said "we have chicken?"

4. At a Wendy's on Route 81 back to NYC, there were two girls--clearly also headed back to the city. Who, in the line, CHANGED PANTS WITH EACH OTHER. IN LINE. LIKE, AS I WAS ORDERING. One of them was wearing a thong. Both of them were wearing a terrifying sense of entitlement.

More soon.

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