Like Two Trains Passing in the Night

Shameless plug before you read on (there are not one but TWO encounters)!

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AND NOW FOR A DOUBLE HEADER...

1. OVERHEARD at the 14th St Subway station.

Stressed Out Older Mom in Sundress with Frizzy Hair pulls Little Girl in Duck Bathing Suit (around six or seven?) onto the L Train. Little Sister (around 4 or 5?) in Red Polka Dot Bikini and Jelly Shoes follows.

SOOMIWFH: You will NOT. Behave. Like. This. In. Public. I won't tolerate it. I won't tolerate a brat.
LGIDBS: AHHHHHHHHHHH.
SOOMIWFH: I've tried reasoning with you. I've tried bribing you. I've tried punishing you. WHAT WILL IT TAKE?
LGIDBS: AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SOOMIWFH: What's going to happen when you're older? You won't have any friends. No one is going to like this behavior.
LGIDBS: I WAAAAAAANT ITTTTT I WAAAAAAHHHHH (choking sobs)
SOOMIWFH: You're EMBARRASSING me. (Yanks the little girl next to her.)
LSIRPDBJS: Why's she crying mama?
SOOMIWFH: Because she's a brat.
LSIRPDBJS: I want ice cream.
LGIDBS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SOOMIWFH: I want ice cream too, I want a whole lot of things, but I'm not getting them either.
LSIRPDBJS: That's sad.
SOOMIWFH: Yes. It is.
LGIDBS: AHHHHHHHHHH WAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

----

2.

Sitting on the 1 train reading "In Touch" or "US Weekly" -- can't remember which. (DO NOT JUDGE ME OK? I LIKE TO KEEP UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS, ALRIGHT?) Suddenly, Normal Looking Middle Aged Black Man with Briefcase and Red Tie sits next to me.

NLMABMWBART: You shouldn't read that garbage.
(I smile. Shift away.)
Me: Ha. Yeah.
(Back to reading.)
NLMABMWBART: No, really.
Me: Ha, I know, I know. It's my vice!
NLMABMWBART: You're letting them get away with it.
Me: Uh...
NLMABMWBART: You're bringing Satan into your life and you don't even know it.
Me: Ah, well, I guess that's a risk I'm willing to take for Kristen Stewart. Haha...ha...
NLMABMWBART: It effects all of us.
Me: Oh, well...um...sorry?
NLMABMWBART: Don't apologize to me. Apologize to your children.
Me: Ah, well, I don't have any of those so I guess I'm in the clear.
NLMABMWBART: You aren't. None of us are.
(We approach 72nd street. DING DONG.)
NLMABMWBART (to a Business-y Looking Skinny Blonde Female Passenger entering the train car): Satan is in this car. Don't go in there.
BLSBFP: I'll take my chances.
(Door shuts.)
BLSBFP: Fucking lunatic.

END.